


Reuniting a Family Once Lost

by JaceofAllTrade



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, April and his funky little techie brain, August is Alive, Blood, Brainwashing, Character Death Fix, Gen, Guilt, Guns, Hi-Tech Spy Equipment, Manipulation, Memory Loss, Mention of December's Attempted Suicide, Mentions of Interrogations, Mentions of drugs, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overworking until Exhaustion, Panic Attacks, Poison Mention, mentions of near death experience, since August is a pharmacist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:41:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29693784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaceofAllTrade/pseuds/JaceofAllTrade
Summary: I saved them once.But those were their words, not mine. I considered it an act of service, maybe a… selfish one at that, actually.“We’re a family now!” is what I always told them, as if that was a reason to—to so blatantly change their lives. To act as if I was saving them—giving them a better life—but all I succeeded in doing was putting them in more danger than I thought.An AU where August lives.
Relationships: August & Mikage Hisoka & Utsuki Chikage
Comments: 29
Kudos: 45





	1. Survived

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks gekkagumi server and thank you specifically bee for helping me make this entire universe after your one tweet.
> 
> The beginning is a lot of guilt and pain for August and April, so please prepare yourself, but I promise you that the ending is very very happy.

_I saved them once._

_But those were their words, not mine. I considered it an act of service, maybe a… selfish one at that, actually._

_“We’re a family now!” is what I always told them, as if that was a reason to—to so blatantly change their lives. To act as if I was saving them—giving them a better life—but all I succeeded in doing was putting them in more danger than I thought._

_I grew up in the Organization._

_It was the only life I knew. They kept me safe and took care of me well, and the only thing I needed to do in return was use my mind. Create new drugs that would help us and hinder the enemy. It was an easy life for me, so I thought it’d be the same for them._

_I was wrong._

_After I brought them in, I was confused. Why did April lock up at the sight of women? Why did December act like he still needed to survive? I had given them everything they could’ve wanted—ultimate security, unlimited food, people they could trust._

_But they didn’t trust anyone who wasn’t me._

_It wasn’t a problem unless they were separated from me. They got better about it as they got older, but as they got older, the Organization started to put them on more missions. Dangerous ones. Granted, we were trained to be the best, but I started to slowly notice something._

_Something strange._

_The Organization would put them on the front lines and leave me back behind their walls where I’d be safe and they’d be in danger. I realized the Organization didn’t care about them. They never did. They never would. They only cared about me. At this point, I realized what I’d done._

_I didn’t save April and December, I’d just…_

_I’d just switched out their nightmares for a different one._

_So, I came up with a plan and reopened an old folder—a failed project—titled…_

_“Memory”._

The moment he woke up, panic settled in immediately, but he wasn’t even sure what the source of that panic was from. A dream? It was possible, but he didn’t remember what he dreamt about. A mission? Most likely, sometimes ghostly sensations followed him even days later. Either way, he was awake now and he needed to get up.

“...kh!”

Okay problem, his body was a lot stiffer and heavier than he initially thought. _Pain medication_ , his brain supplied.

“Whoa hey, don’t get up so quickly.” A pair of hands on his shoulders gently pushed him back onto the bed.

Ah, he should open his eyes. “A… April…?” August questioned once he took full stock of the person watching him worriedly.

“Sh, stop talking.” April offered him a glass of water with a straw. “Here, drink.” Once he did, April pulled the glass away and set it down on the nearby table before settling back in the chair next to the bed. “Anything hurt?”

After moving his body slightly to stretch as much as his body would allow him, August shook his head.

April released a relieved breath. “Good. Actually, I’d be concerned if it did, considering you’re the one who made these pain meds.” Looking away briefly, April huffed out a breath, “... I'm glad you’re okay, by the way.”

Then, April got quiet. A different kind of quiet that felt uneasy, it didn’t help that he was slightly fidgeting. There was something he wanted to say and August knew that if he didn’t speak up, April would never bring it up.

“Apr—“ was all he managed to get out before he started coughing due to his still dry throat.

“Damnit,” April cursed and held out the glass again. “I told you to stop talking.”

Instead of drinking, August covered his mouth and continued to cough, his body shaking with every one as April lightly patted his back with his other hand as if that would help stop the coughs. Once the coughs mostly subsided, August drank some more water to soothe his throat before finishing the glass and pulling away. He coughed a few more times as April patted his back some more before standing to go refill the glass.

“You,” August tested out again but his voice still sounded a bit raspy, “want to say something.”

Even though he was across the room in the kitchenette, August didn’t miss the way April stilled for a brief moment before he sighed heavily and set the pitcher down. Unfortunately, his back was to him so he couldn’t see his expression. Just when August thought April wouldn’t answer him, the younger spoke up exhaustedly.

“It’s about December.”

August’s eyes widened as he realized where that panic from before came from.

“He was a traitor.”

There was a beat.

“He’s not.”

“August—“ April cut himself off, though. Sighing, April placed his hands on the counter and shook his head, taking a deep breath and lifting his chin as if contemplating something. Running a hand through his hair, April finally turned around, and for some reason— _for some reason_ —April looked more exhausted than he had been moments before. “He left you for _dead_.”

“He didn’t,” August stated firmly and cleared his throat.

“You were shot. Bleeding out. And where was December? We didn’t even find his body. He _left_ you up on the hill. Hell, maybe he’s the one who shot you.”

“April,” August called in determination as April reluctantly shut his mouth. “I was there, and I can assure you December isn’t a traitor. He didn’t shoot me and he sure as hell didn’t leave me.”

“Then, where is he, August? Where’s December?”

Then, August remembered the disbelief and concerned green eyes of his little brother. _“Live,”_ he’d told him before he—

“He’s considered MIA anyway, he’s probably dead for all we know.” April shook his head again and placed his hands on his hips. “And we shouldn’t even be having this conversation, you’re supposed to be resting.” After putting the pitcher away, April picked up the glass and walked back over, offering it to August who took it and drank from it. “Maybe you’re misremembering,” April sat down, “you did just wake up.”

Drinking for a few more seconds, August quickly scanned his brother as his eyes landed on something far too obvious. “April,” August’s voice had a hint of warning in it as April froze up at the tone but quickly recovered as if nothing happened. Setting the glass aside, August reached for April’s hand, but the younger pulled away and even stood to walk away.

“I don’t need you worrying about me when you’re the one who just had an NDE.”

“How long?” He asked, his voice much softer.

April shook his head and started pacing slightly as if he was deciding on leaving the room or not.

“Apr—“

“Please stop worrying about me, August, I am literally begging you. You nearly died, you are _not_ wasting your energy worrying about me.” April headed for the door and opened it but stopped at the words spoken to him.

“April, the Organization hurt you!”

The aforementioned huffed and stood there for several more moments. “Go to sleep, August, there’s a bag of your favorite snacks within reach.” His voice sounded hollow and haunted as if he was reliving those moments under the Organization’s hands all over again. “I’ll be back later.” Then, he closed the door without even waiting for a response as August sighed heavily, his eyes landing on something on the couch.

 _His jacket,_ August noted briefly, _it’s probably cold outside._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk when chapter 2 will come out cause I wanted to gauge interest, so please lemme know what you think by commenting


	2. Processing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After April's impromptu walk out of the hideout, August and April work through their thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of warning with this chapter: August thinks about how April was interrogated by the Org, but nothing explicit is stated really, only the mention of scars, both physically and mentally, left on April.
> 
> Also, I'm glad y'all are excited about this because I am too, I honestly cannot wait to go through this journey with y'all

April didn’t know why he left.

He didn’t know where he was going and he wasn’t even sure if leaving was even worth it. He found himself wandering the streets of the city, seeing people live about their civilian lives all unaware and aware of each other.

 _Why are you angry?_ He asked himself repeatedly the moment he left the hideout. Was he angry with August? Was he angry with December? Was this even anger at all? Frustration? Annoyance? What was he feeling and why couldn’t he understand it?

April figured something in him probably snapped when August—ever the observant older brother he was—noticed the scars the Organization left on him. Instinctively, his hand reached up and felt the slight grooves on his neck before bringing his hand down lower to his shoulder then to his arm. The Organization knew better than to leave something noticeable by a normal pair of eyes, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

His mind was scattered, no thought staying still for a second except the only thing lodged into his brain was that December was a traitor and nearly got August killed. He was reacting. He was torn. He was… scared.

_Scared of what?_

Swallowing a lump in his throat, April continued on his walk to nowhere and hugged himself when the cold was starting to get to him. It wasn’t snowing that day, thankfully, but he still regretted not bringing his jacket on his rush out the door, which… he was still confused about. He was supposed to be helping August recover, he was supposed to be making August’s life easier, why was he outside when he was supposed to be by his brother’s side?

 _Right,_ April thought bitterly, _you yelled at him._

Okay.

Deep breath.

Think this through.

It wasn’t fair of April to immediately shut down August’s claim that December wasn’t a traitor, especially since he wasn’t there himself. But the Organization seemed so sure of it. Even though he didn’t want his brother to be a traitor, that didn’t mean it was impossible. But then, why would August be so adamant about his innocence if he was one?

 _Misremembering,_ April frowned at the thought. _Near death experiences could probably alter memories in a way._ Except April didn’t know how the mind worked in these kinds of situations to give himself a solid answer.

August didn’t have all the facts, but neither did April. Still… April was out of line, he’d stepped too far. August was just worrying about him and April had snapped because of his own worry for his older brother. He’d almost lost him, but that didn’t give him the right to yell at him.

He had to apologize.

But… maybe he’ll walk around a bit more first.

«~•~»

Moments after April left the hideout, August took stock of the room around him. Everything was extra neat and organized as August wondered if it was because December wasn’t there to make a mess or if April had wanted to distract himself while waiting for August to wake up. Either way, April had clearly cleaned the place up since coming back from his mission abroad.

His hand twitched with the want to pull the covers off of himself and follow April out the door, but he knew his brother needed time. And to be honest, so did August.

_Okay, go over the facts._

Before August and December’s mission, April had been sent abroad for an assignment and came back to a comatose August. After an… interrogation session—August clenched his jaw at the thought—with the Organization, April took care of August while he was unconscious and waited for him to wake up. December’s considered missing in action and the prime suspect for betrayal, as evidenced by April’s outrage, and the Organization seemed to believe he was the one who tried to kill August.

_So, then what do I assume?_

The Organization likely interrogated April to see if he was an accomplice and if he knew December’s whereabouts. It was difficult to decipher how that conversation went with how little details August had right now, but if April’s allowed to walk around freely and take care of August, the Organization must’ve been convinced April was clean. It was highly unlikely the Organization would question August, though, as their _star pupil._ August wanted to make them pay and—

 _Focus,_ he told himself.

Judging from April’s volatile reaction and the scars left, August estimated that April was interrogated for at least a week straight and was still recovering. Though, the Organization probably didn’t want April to have anything lasting so it was probably less than two weeks. And the worst part was that the Organization managed to convince April that December was a traitor in such a short amount of time.

August huffed and hoped the scars would heal quickly.

_And now, what can I do to help him?_

For starters, he could probably fulfill April’s wish about resting some more, but he figured he’d do that once he was done. Apologizing to him was at the top of his list as well. Perhaps, he could make life at the hideout a little easier for him, and probably lighthearted just to make sure he wasn’t spiraling too much from his thoughts or anything. Constant reassurances about December’s stance and that August was still, in fact, alive would probably lift a weight off April’s shoulders too. Make sure he ate food and drank water should be added to the list as well. And then, he’d wait as long as needed for April to open up and start the conversation that they needed to have.

August scoffed in amusement because really, all he was listing was things he’d do any other day. The smile dropped just as quickly as it came though.

And now, _December._

At the moment, there wasn’t anything he could do for him. They weren’t sure if he was alive, and missing in action could mean a multitude of things. The only thing that August knew for sure was that December took the serum, so if he survived the fall, then he was wandering around without knowing who he was.

Closing his eyes, August wondered if that was worse as he felt a pang of guilt at what he’d subjected their little brother to.

Running a hand through his hair and opening his eyes, August breathed in deeply and scanned the room one more time. He knew his mind would wander more if he stayed awake and he knew it was useless to chase after April right now, so with a heavy sigh, he complied with his brother’s request and settled underneath the covers.

«~•~»

“I told you to sleep.” April closed the door behind him.

August threw a relieved look over his shoulder from the kitchenette before looking back at the food he was cooking. “I did. You were gone seven hours. Now, sit at the table. I’m almost done.”

“... You expect me to believe that?”

“Well, you were gone seven hours unless all the clocks in here’s broken.”

“That’s not what I…” April trailed off and sighed. “August…” It came out breathy this time, but April cleared his throat a few times. When August turned around, he found April shuffling nervously toward the kitchenette—towards him—fidgeting with his hands. “I-I’m sorry, I…” He wasn’t looking at him. “I didn’t mean to yell at you, I was just—I’m… I’m happy you’re okay, I was just so—so confused a-and angry… I didn’t know how to… how to—“

Quickly cleaning his hands, August closed the distance between them and hugged his brother tightly, rubbing his back soothingly. “I know I know, it’s okay, April,” August whispered, “I'm sorry for yelling at you too, and I’m glad you’re okay.” April lightly jabbed him in the side as August laughed and could practically feel his frown against his shoulder. “Okay okay okay, I’m glad I’m okay too. Now, go put on a jacket before you sit down at the table, I know you’re not only shaking because of how hard this was for you to say. We’ll talk more after dinner.”

April tried to scoff, but it sounded more like a heavy exhale before he peeled away from August and picked up his jacket on the couch, slipping it on and shoving his hands in the pockets. “You didn’t burn it this time, did you?”

“Oh ye of little faith,” August remarked back as he went back to cooking. He absolutely burned it on accident, but April didn’t complain during dinner.

As promised, after dinner, the two ended up on the couch with August sitting on one end and running his hand carefully through April’s hair as the younger laid his head on his brother’s lap and kept his gaze toward the rest of the room. They stayed like that for several minutes as August patiently waited for April to start the conversation. However, the longer the silence stretched, the longer August dwelled on his own actions that day.

Maybe December would’ve still been with them.

Before his thoughts could wander further, April finally spoke up, his voice barely above a whisper, “You really think December’s not a traitor…?”

August frowned, sadness crossing his face at the other’s tone. “Oh April,” August brushed his hair out of his eyes, “what did they do to you?”

At that, April shook his head slightly and closed his eyes.

It wasn’t really a question that August wanted him to answer anyway. He grew up in the Org, he knew exactly the procedures they took when interrogating their own and it made his stomach churn at the thought that April had to experience it. He tried to save December, but no one even knew if he was alive and because of that, April had suffered too.

Was this plan of his really worth it anymore?

He couldn’t lose April too.

He couldn’t.

“I don’t,” August said, finally answering April’s earlier question, “but it doesn’t matter what I think, at the moment. What do you think happened, April? Use your mind,” August urged, “No one will tell you what to think and how to think anymore, your mind is one of your greatest strengths.” August gently swiped his thumb over the little imprint just barely visible below April’s hairline on his neck. “I know it hurts, April, but don’t let them take away your individuality like that.”

“I…” April took a deep breath.

And so, August waited. He waited for April to gather his thoughts and come to a conclusion, but once again as silence fell upon them, August could feel something in his chest tighten. Was December really dead? Had he survived the fall? April said he was MIA, but that doesn’t mean he was still alive. What if—

A hand grasped at his wrist as August looked back down at April who was staring up at him with tired eyes. “Too tight.”

For a moment, August didn’t know what he meant, but then he realized the hand that was in April’s hair was curled into a fist. So he forced himself to let go, both of April’s hair and the breath he was holding in. “Sorry.”

April didn’t respond and just released his wrist, looking away from him again.

“April.”

“...”

“I hope you know you’re not leaving my side any time soon.”

April huffed in mild amusement, “Overprotective…”

Yeah.

He was.

But August didn’t care right now, he had to keep April safe no matter what. He seemed too drained to continue their conversation, so August let him rest for a few hours as he ran his hand through his hair, only moving slightly when he felt part of his body start to fall asleep.

He’d failed at protecting December.

He wasn’t going to fail at protecting April too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shakes my fists If only I could tell them that December's fine
> 
> Also it may seem like April’s a bit out of character but please remember that he is extremely raw and vulnerable after all that’s happened to him lately


	3. Checking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps, they've returned to some form of normalcy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: August gets a check up at their hideout but nothing's explicitly explained so that scene is mostly dialogue

“Stop helicoptering.” April had said one day which made August blink.

“Huh?”

“I said stop helicoptering,” April repeated firmer than before.

“I’m not?”

Sighing, April placed the screwdriver on the workbench and turned around to face August who stared back. Leaning on the workbench, April crossed his arms over his chest, “You’re outta bed again.”

August frowned, “April, I need to move about or else—”

“When you’re outta bed, it makes you antsier because you want to work, but you can’t. Not until you’re healed a bit more. So to compensate, you’re helicoptering over me. I am not the one who had an NDE.”

August sighed and dropped his hands to his side, shaking his head. “Not that excuse again.”

April leveled a serious gaze with him, “It’s not an excuse. You just don’t know when to quit caring.”

“Why would I want to quit caring?” August’s frown deepened.

“Because it puts yourself at risk. Look.” April rubbed at his eyes tiredly and breathed in deeply. “I know you probably worked out what happened to me with the Org, but I am telling you, you need to slow down before you hurt yourself. The Org’s not gonna hurt me anymore, August, I’m already healing, so stop worrying about me and step back and let yourself heal too. Rest. Sleep. Do literally anything else that’s not caring for me or working. I can take care of myself, you know that, and I know it’s hard to accept that after these circumstances, but I’m telling you that you’re going to hurt yourself if you continue. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

Well that last sentence sounded awfully familiar.

Licking at his lips, August nodded and looked away from his brother briefly to gather his thoughts. “I can’t.”

“August—”

“No, that’s not what I meant…” August trailed off and moved to sit on the couch, keeping his gaze on the ground. He placed his hands on his lap and tapped a finger on them for a few moments as his leg started bouncing. “I just… Every time I close my eyes, I see him. And I want to…” _I want to protect you at all costs._ “I don’t want something to happen to you too, April. I _can’t_ have something happen to you too. So… taking care of you does help me and I know resting is important, but I can’t stop thinking about December and thinking about you when I’m resting. This…” _This is my fault, after all._ “This is all I can do for now.”

Releasing a heavy breath, April nodded in acknowledgement before pushing off the workbench and walking over. He crouched in front of August so that he could meet his gaze as April could probably see the pain in August’s eyes. He tilted his head slightly as he continued to scan his face. “I get that,” April said quietly, “I understand, August, but I still need you to step back and let me breathe. I know you want to keep taking care of me, but I’m letting you know that I still need my space. I said that I’m healing from what the Org did to me and honestly, I feel a bit suffocated when you step too close. But I also worry about you and I don’t want to lose you either. You need to take a break. You need to rest. I know it’s hard, but I want to take care of you too… I owe you that much.”

August wasn’t sure why April thought he owed him anything, he was the one who— _No, don’t spiral in front of April, August, it’s not worth it. Don’t make him worry more._

August nodded. “So if I can’t rest and I can’t helicopter and I can’t work, then what do I do?”

April smiled, “Asking me for advice, that's a first.”

Rolling his eyes, August ruffled his hair as April protested. “You’re a smug little prick, aren’t you?”

Scoffing, April stood and gestured over at his workbench, “How about doing something we both understand then?” He walked over as August stood and followed him.

“A simple rework,” April picked up the screwdriver to close the panel on the laptop he was working on. “I’m testing out a fast working program that copies entire hard drives worth of information within seconds by mere proximity and inputs it—“ April put the screwdriver back down and flipped the laptop to set it down and open it “—right onto this one.”

“Wow,” August whistled, “and lemme guess—“

“I programmed it.”

“—you programmed it.”

As April smiled widely and laughed with him, August ruffled his hair again, but felt his own heart ache at the need to make sure that smile stayed on his brother’s face.

One day he’ll be able to smile freely just like now.

_One day._

«~•~»

_Knock knock knock._

August and April’s eyes snapped to each other simultaneously from either side of the room as they waited with bated breath.

_Knock knock._

_Knock knock knock._

“Someone from the Org?” August frowned and watched April stand from his seat to answer the door. “Who would come here?”

“Could only be one person,” April said, his voice giving away the fact that he knew exactly who it was as he opened the door. “Sept.”

Standing, August sighed and crossed his arms as April opened the door wider to let September in. “Can’t believe my own family sold me out.”

April shot him a look, “It was protocol.”

“A heads up would’ve been nice, at least.”

“August, it was protocol. You know protocol better than anyone.”

Running his hand through his hair, August placed his other hand on his hip and scratched at the back of his head, watching September silently set up on the couch and coffee table. “Still. I would very much not like to have Sept poking at me today.”

“That’s too bad,” September said, clearly not giving a shit, and patted the couch. “Now sit. You,” she turned to April, “out or else I’m knocking you out.” April simply raised his hands and nodded before walking over to the side room and closing the door behind him.

August stared at September for a while. “Do I really have to?”

“Yes, now sit. If it makes you feel any better, I’m not poking you today.”

“Wow, assuring me, that’s a first. Are you sure you’re September?” August asked sarcastically and sat down next to her as she immediately got to work.

“I have half a mind to poke at you anyway for that. Any pain?”

“Only occasionally, but that’s only when the painkillers start wearing off.”

“Any mobility problems?”

“Not really.”

“How’re you eating?”

“Fine.”

“Your energy?”

“Substantial.”

“Of course,” September said with a hint of amusement. “Your senses?”

“Working fine.”

“Your memory?”

“...”

“Hey.”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I’m fine. You didn’t need to come.”

September seemed to ignore him, though. Go figure. “Lift your shirt,” September ordered as August sighed and complied. Once she was done overlooking his healing injuries, she tapped his shoulder and turned away to start packing up as he lowered his shirt.

“K. We done now?” August started to stand.

Zipping up her bag, September grabbed his shoulder and forced him back onto the couch, “No, actually. It’s about your team.”

August frowned, “You mean April. You can say his name.”

“Because you lost the other.”

“ _December._ He has a name too.”

“Whatever, he’s considered a traitor by the Organization anyway.”

Forcing himself to ignore her dismissal, August leaned back into the couch and clicked his tongue. “I know. April told me.”

“Knowing you, you probably don’t believe that in the slightest, but I don’t give a shit. I’m only here to question if you think your other team member is a traitor.”

Huffing, August looked away from her and shook his head. “Well, neither of them are. Can you leave now?”

“No.”

“Sept, I’m serious, if you have nothing important to say other than trying to accuse my family, you can leave.”

September stared at him with a blank face for several moments before standing and picking up her bag. “Fine, but I’m warning you now. If the Organization suspects your team member of being a traitor again, it won’t be good for him.”

August faked a smile that he knew she could see right through. “Thanks for the warning, now if you’re done pretending to care for April, you can leave.”

With a sigh, September walked over to the door and opened it, but stopped. “Well, I care about you.” Then, she left.

Releasing a breath, August covered his face with his hands and groaned in annoyance before standing and going over to the side room door. “April,” he knocked, “Sept’s gone.”

“Be out in a minute,” he heard before going over to his desk to plop down onto his chair.

Minutes later, the door opened as August frowned at the fact that April came out in completely different clothes. A suit, to be exact. “Where are you going in such fancy clothes?”

April fixed his cuffs, “Did I forget to mention that I was returning to the office today?”

“You did,” August stood from his desk and walked over, untying April’s tie to redo it. “Still can’t do this neatly yourself huh.”

April rolled his eyes, “I do it just fine, you’re just fussy.”

August chuckled, “Sure sure.” Once he was done tying it, he took a deep breath and looked up at April with pursed lips, “You sure you’ll be fine going back?”

“No, but I don’t have a choice.”

A million thoughts came to August then, all of them involving various ways he could somehow convince the Organization to keep April out of the office just a bit longer so he could rest some more, but he shoved them all aside because he already knew it was useless to argue with them. “Okay,” August said quietly, “Take care, April.”

Stepping back, April opened the door and tossed him a smile, “I’ll be back, I promise.” And he said it with such conviction that it eased August somewhat.

August only nodded in response as April left and closed the door behind him with a soft click.

_“Well, I care about you.”_

“Always with the random bouts of emotions from you, huh September?”

«~•~»

“Senpai, what a surprise.”

Looking up from his phone, Chikage plastered on his work smile and nodded in acknowledgment. “Chigasaki. It’s been a while, good to see you.”

“Likewise.” Itaru walked up to one of the vending machines and surveyed his options, which Chikage was unsure why he was even looking them over. He was going to choose three anyway. “I didn’t know you came back from your business trip. It seemed like a long one.”

“Oh? Were you on a need-to-know basis? You should’ve consulted me.”

After paying, Itaru jammed his finger on—you guessed it—option three and tossed Chikage a smile. “I thought it’d be an added bonus for being your favorite junior.”

Locking his phone, Chikage pocketed it, “Favorite junior, huh. Self assigning yourself now, I see.”

“Well, someone has to be your favorite junior. Oh and,” Itaru pulled out the chilled coffee, “good work.”

Chikage couldn’t help but pause momentarily as he thought back to the last several weeks. Of course, he wasn’t on a business trip half the time, instead, taking care of August most of the time and doing assignments in between. Chikage didn’t intend for his hesitation to slip through his façade but he could blame it on his exhaustion from said business trip.

“Good work as well.” Chikage bowed his head slightly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

“It’s break, y’know,” Itaru said quickly as Chikage looked back at him with a raised brow. “Why not savor it? Plus,” Itaru unscrewed the cap and shrugged, “you look tired today.”

“I’m quite alright.”

Sighing, Itaru capped his drink, “What if I promise the rest of the break won’t be a waste of your time?”

Intrigued, Chikage faced Itaru and crossed his arms over his chin, a smile playing on his lips. “And what wouldn’t be considered a waste of my time?”

Itaru smiled back, “I’m so glad you asked. Remember that theatre troupe I’m a part of? Well, the new sub troupe’s just started rehearsals a couple weeks ago.”

“Oh? And what is this sub troupe called this time?” Chikage asked sarcastically.

“Winter.”

“Of course, they are,” Chikage mused in amusement as Itaru chuckled. “I think it’d be interesting if their name was actually different from the theme.”

“You mean funny.”

“Funny and interesting.”

Itaru rolled his eyes, “Y’know Senpai, you’re allowed to laugh like a normal human being.” He opened his coffee and drank from it.

Chikage hummed, “And who even says I am one.”

“That should be a concerning sentence, but I’ve worked with you long enough to know that’s just you being evasive.” Itaru took another sip. “Now, I actually do want to tell you about Winter’s members so you will take your break.”

“Alright then, I’ll spare the rest of my break for you,” Chikage gestured at the nearby table as they took a seat.

Itaru smiled. “So there’s five members: Two acting junkies, an amnesiac—”


	4. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...or perhaps, "normal" was something they could never return to.

The guilt was eating away at him.

_I killed December. I killed December. I killed December. I ki—_

It had been weeks since August woke up, but the longer he was awake, the more guilty he felt. Sleep was useless as well since the only thing he’d dream about lately was startled green eyes before they faded into the calm sea. Over and over and over, again and again, and again. August was getting exhausted, April was getting more frustrated.

_“You need to rest.”_

_“Yeah, in a minute.”_

_“August, I’m serious. You’re going to hurt yourself.”_

An endless cycle that he couldn’t escape.

_“Stop.”_

_“April—“_

_“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s happening.”_

_“I have work to do, April. Move.”_

And that excuse always worked because he did, in fact, have work to do. The Organization gave him a bit more desk work than usual since he was confined at home until his injuries fully healed while April took on the more hands-on missions he couldn’t. But then he’d worry the whole time at home until April showed up at the door. He’d breathe a sigh of relief every time and hug April so tightly, thankful that nothing happened to him.

He couldn’t lose both of them.

He couldn’t.

But then when April would allow himself those rare moments of sleep, August would watch him for several moments as he thought repeatedly, _How do I tell you I’m the one who killed our brother? How do I explain to you that I was so desperate to save you both again?_ A constant battle that he’d never win. Would April be horrified? Would April never speak to him again? Would he run? Would he cry? Would he be angry?

August didn’t know.

August would never know.

Not until he told April the truth.

_Could he even tell him the truth?_

Then, there was an assignment. An assignment so very similar to the one that he and December went on that August couldn’t bring himself to keep it in anymore. So he stopped April at the door.

“April,” August took a deep breath. “April, I need to tell you something.”

Adjusting the last of his holsters, April paused momentarily before straightening up. “I’m kinda in a hurry here, August. Can't it wait until I get back?”

“April…”

Pulling on his coat, April picked up a bag and opened the door, “I’m serious, I have to go—“

Grabbing his arm, August pulled him back inside before he could step over the threshold as if April would surely be doomed if he left. “April, wait. Just… wait a second, I…” He kept his gaze on the ground and sucked in a breath before admitting, “I pushed him off…” Eyes flicking to his hand holding April’s arm, August let go of him as if he’d been burned and still refused to see the other’s expression. “I pushed December off the cliff.”

There was silence for a while as August begged internally _say something say something say something please, April, I—_

“Why?”

What a heavy loaded question, August almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. “I… There was a… a project.” August still couldn’t bring himself to look April in the eyes. “It was scrapped long before either of you ever joined the Org, but it… it started before I was born. They thought that—” August took a measured breath, hoping that it’d calm his nerves “—that I would be able to crack it, when they realized my potential. I didn’t. I wasn’t able to, at the time, so the Org told me to seal it away and never to open it again until they figured I was ready to try again.”

“August, what does this have to do with December?” August couldn’t tell what April’s tone was. He couldn’t figure out if he was angry or horrified, and he knew that he could just look up and meet his eyes to find out, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He’d killed their brother, he couldn’t face his little brother like this.

Hesitantly raising a hand, August brought his hand to April’s shoulder—somehow, it grounded August enough to continue—before sliding it over to his chest and pulling off the pendant around his neck. Looking down at his closed fist, August’s breath hitched when he opened his hand to see the serum he’d made. “I switched them out. Both of them. Both of yours. I…”

“For what.” God, August really wished he could decipher April’s voice.

“The project,” August started with a strained voice and sucked in a breath. He needed to continue, he needed to tell April the truth. “ _Memory alteration, April,_ I just… I just wanted to get you both out of this life. Have you forget _everything_ about the Organization—about _me_ —I didn’t want either of you to suffer anymore because of me, and I thought that… I thought… God, April, what have I done…?”

“What happened on the cliff, August?”

He shook his head as he finally felt the tears start to form and drop down onto his hand and the necklace, his shoulders shaking. “I was shot and slowing December down, but it didn’t matter anyway since we were backed up to a cliff. They were gonna kill us both, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t let them kill December after all I’d done to get you both _out._ ” August breathed out shakily. “So just like he was told to, December took it. He drank it because he thought… he thought it was…”

“Because he thought it was the poison to kill him, so you’d both die together.”

_“If I can’t save you, then I’ll die here, too.”_ December’s words still rang in his head.

Hearing it made a fresh wave of tears fall from his eyes. “And then… then I…”

“You pushed him off the cliff so they wouldn’t get him too and because you knew he was more likely to survive the fall.”

“April…” August choked out and shook his head. How could he do this? How could he let this happen to December? “I’m sorry, April… I was just…” _I was just trying to save you two,_ he couldn’t bring himself to say. “I’m sorry, I killed our brother…”

Several moments passed before April took a deep breath and dropped his bag on the ground, stepping closer and wrapping his arms tightly around his brother.

“You didn’t kill him. And he’s not dead,” April assured quietly, “He’s a tough son of a bitch, he survived multiple nights in the dead of winter, he’s not dead. And…” April pulled away to make eye contact with August who finally saw the worry and sadness in those blue eyes of his. April bit his lower lip for a moment and took a deep breath, “And I may have already been searching the surrounding area of the cliff. Five miles out, to be exact. No luck yet, though, but…” April’s face contorted slightly as he brought a hand up to August’s face and gently wiped some of his tears away as if he disliked seeing them before he returned his hands back to August’s shoulders. “But we’ll find him. We will.”

August placed his hands over April’s hands and nodded, “Okay… okay.”

April nodded back and breathed deeply, reluctantly letting go of August. “I need to go now. I promise I’ll be back safe and sound.”

“Yeah… yeah okay. Take care.”

“I will.” April picked up his bag and opened the door, but stopped for a moment before turning around and pulling off his earpiece. He grabbed August’s hand and placed the earpiece next to the pendant, closing August’s hand around the two items and looking him in the eyes. “Mic off,” April reminded him.

“‘Course.”

“I’ll be back,” April promised again before stepping out and reached into his bag for the spare earpiece as he closed the door behind him.

Putting on the earpiece and switching it on, August toggled the mute button and turned away from the door, heading to his desk to get back to work.

_“April reporting in, I’m heading out now.”_

_“You’re gonna be late. That’s been happening a lot recently, AP.”_

_“I don’t want to hear that from you, Mar.”_

_“Ouch. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”_

_“Oh, don’t mind him, March.”_

August froze.

_“He’s just emotional baggage at this point. How’s August, April?”_

_“You guys hear something? I think an annoying fly stole one of our earpieces.”_

_“How rude.“_

_“July. April. Keep the comms clear.”_

_“Roger that, Sept.”_

August caught himself on his desk when he felt himself start to feel lightheaded and sway, bringing his other hand to his head.

_Of course…_

How could he forget?

«~•~»

As August lightly dabbed the washcloth on April’s cheek, he tried to ignore the fact that his brother was completely avoiding his gaze. He’d already said he didn’t want to talk about it, but considering August was listening in the whole time, they should talk about it. So he soaked the washcloth again before wringing it out and bringing it back to April’s face.

“Apr—“

“Don’t.” Pushing August’s hand away from his face, April stood from the seat and walked away. He stopped though. “Please don’t, August. I… I really don’t have the energy right now. I just wanna rest and not think right now. Will you wait? Please?”

August simply nodded and watched April sigh and turn to go into the side room to sleep and probably to keep away from August’s worried gaze. After the door closed, August sighed and picked up the bowl, bringing it to the sink and dumping it. Thankfully, there was a medical kit in the side room and April was more than capable of patching himself up, but that didn’t lessen August’s worry at all.

Well.

At least, April came home.

Ever since he woke up, it felt like they’d take steps together toward some form of normalcy, but then something would always reset them back to the beginning. August really wished that he talked to the Organization in the first place so April wouldn’t have to push himself so hard making up for their whole team’s lost time while August was stuck at their hideout doing _paperwork_ of all things.

After washing the bowl and setting it aside to dry, August went back to his desk and heavily slumped down into it as the chair rolled back and lightly hit the desk. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling. Okay, April didn’t want to talk. That’s fine. That’s alright. There were plenty of other times where April didn’t want to talk after missions, especially if he was the one who fucked up.

And, unfortunately, he fucked up on this one.

His phone started ringing as August looked over and exhaled heavily before reaching over and picking up without looking at the caller ID. It was very few people it could be anyway. “August here,” he said monotonously as he rubbed tiredly at his eyes with his other hand.

_“August.”_

Eyes widening, August stood up immediately and glanced over at the closed door of the side room. It’s possible April was asleep already, but also the walls within the hideout were thin for security purposes.

_“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”_

August composed himself and forced himself to relax somewhat. “What do you want?”

_“Oh, nothing really. I just wanted to check in. See how you were faring.”_

“That so?” August had half a mind to hang up then and there. “What, so you could try again?”

_“My, how hostile you are.”_

“I think I have every right to be.”

_“Mmm, I suppose you do.”_

“I will take you down.” August looked over at the side room down to make sure it was still closed. “The Org will side with me when I tell them. You know they will.”

_“That’s the thing though, isn’t it? If you tell them, you’d only be putting April in more danger, wouldn’t you?”_

August frowned, “What the hell do you mean?”

_“Come now, August. If you tell them your information, then I’ll tell them mine. What do you think the Organization’s gonna do when I tell them that you reopened ‘Memory’ for your own selfish gain?”_

“They won’t believe you,” he answered because he couldn’t hesitate.

_“Hmm, possibly. But. I think we both know they’d investigate you anyway. They’d take April from you, y’know, because they’d realize he’s a liability. This mission was proof of that. And you can’t forget, they’d use him against you too.”_ There was a pause. _“In other news, today’s mission was your expertise, was it not? But because you’re stuck in bed, April had to go in your place and look what happened. Do you really want to be responsible for the downfall of your remaining brother?”_

Taking a measured breath, August weighed his options and kept his eyes on the closed door of the side room. It was true. If July even mentioned ‘Memory’ to the Organization executives, they’d be knocking down their door in seconds to question him. Lying to them wasn’t an option, especially since they’d turn every single one of their hideouts upside down to find his research. They’d find out he cracked it. It was only temporary memory loss, but he’d still cracked it. Not to mention that they’d probably assume April knew about this as well and punish him for withholding information.

And yeah, the ‘using April against him’ thing too.

Which was what July was doing right now.

“What do you want?” August asked again.

_“Nothing.”_

“Bullshit.”

_“Yet. Nothing yet, but don’t worry. I’ll make sure to keep in touch with you, my dear August.”_

Before August could say anything else, July ended the call.

Pursing his lips, August sucked in a breath and placed his hands on his desk, leaning on it and shaking his head. Unfortunately, he was in a tight spot. He couldn’t risk putting April in more danger than he already was. He didn’t know why July didn’t just turn them in instead of playing this long-winded, twisted game—whatever long-winded, twisted game this was. If he waited, then surely he knew that August would try and figure out a solution, so why was he waiting? But, if July truly wanted to wait then so be it, August was going to take advantage of July’s generosity.

Still.

He needed to get April out before July made due on his threat.

Closing his eyes briefly, August looked at the closed door again as his brows creased.

“God, what have I done…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmm spicy drama~ and yes i will be making july way more dangerous than he was in game thank you very much


	5. Exhaustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his phone call with July, August decides to check up on April.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: August goes a little more in depth about the memory altering serum/drug he made.

“Hey April,” August called hesitantly and leaned on the door, knocking lightly on it and resting his head on it. “Buddy, you awake?” Listening intently through the door, August didn’t hear any shuffling nor some sort of heavy breathing so either April wanted him to think he was asleep or he was actually asleep.

Except, April hardly slept.

After a few more moments of waiting for a response, August sighed, “Look, I… I know it was hard, but—“

The door opened suddenly as August blinked in surprise and nearly fell inside of it wasn't for April catching him. “You don’t.” April pushed August upright before letting go of him and walking into the room to sit on the far side of the bed, his back to August and his elbows on his knees. “It was a simple mission, I fucked up. You don’t. _You don’t_ know how hard it was to… to…”

August stayed at the door. “To what?” He urged quietly.

April grasped at his hair and tugged at it slightly before sliding his hands down his face—not at all mindful of the bandage on his cheek—and exhaling heavily. He dropped his head and wrapped his arms around his neck, shaking his head. “Why am I angry at you?!” He shouted suddenly as August sighed. “Why am I so angry? Why do I feel this way? Why do I tremble so much? I can’t even hold a gun properly anymore! I just hate you, I hate you, _I hate you!_ ”

“April…”

“I can’t, August…” April choked out and shook his head, covering his ears. “I can’t. I… I don’t want to hate him anymore…”

Realization reached August’s eyes then.

“I don’t want to hate December… I don’t want to keep hating him…”

“I’m… I’m coming in, April.” Against his better judgement, August stepped into the room, but no matter how much he wanted to hold April right now, he knew he couldn’t. So he sat on the opposite end of the bed and faced away from April, clasping his hands in his lap.

“Mar was my backup and I almost… I almost called her Dec—” April sucked in a breath. “And then, just, just _anger._ Like I wanted to—to tear something apart and I realized all I was thinking about was December. That December was the one I wanted to—“ April paused. “And I missed the shot and then I got mad at myself because… because I can’t! I can’t, August. I can’t hate him. I can’t hate my brother, but why… why do I hate him so much…?”

 _The Org,_ August’s mind supplied. It was their fault April was reacting this way, they were the ones who lodged it into his mind that December was a traitor. They were the ones who hurt his family. August wondered if there was a way he could undo their interrogations on him.

Then, it hit him.

“April,” August called carefully. “I can stop the pain. Temporarily, really. But, I can still stop it if you’ll let me.”

“I’m not taking your memory altering serum.”

“April, I—“ August stopped himself and huffed. _Don’t get mad at him._ “I’m just trying to help. If you take it, you’ll forget everything the Org did to you. You’d be free from this life like I wanted to happen for both of you in the first place.”

“...”

August almost didn’t want to turn around at the silence he was met with, but then he eventually relented and was met with a pissed off April. “I’m trying to help you,” August reasoned.

“It won’t help.”

“How would you know?”

“I just do.”

“At least think about it more before you reject the idea.”

“No.”

“April—“

“I’m not changing my mind, August.”

“But you’d be free from everything! All of this! This life!”

“You don’t get it, August.”

“April!”

“You don’t _get it!_ ”

“Then, fucking tell me what I don’t get!”

“I’M NOT FUCKING FORGETTING MY FAMILY!” Breathing heavily after his yell, April stared August down as the older settled back onto the bed when he realized he’d stood up at one point. “Do you know how frustrated I was?” His voice cracked, but April didn’t give a shit and continued. “To learn that you had gone and went behind our backs like that? That you decided on your own that our lives would be better without the Org.”

“It would be,” August argued.

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I grew up in this life.”

April didn’t falter. “Yeah. You did. But December and I grew up out there. In unloving homes. In an unforgiving world. Before ending up on the streets. We lived that life. Before you took us in. Before we started living this one. You don’t have that experience that we do to determine if our lives would be better or not without the Org.”

“You’re in pain, April.” August reminded him. “Right now. You are in _pain_ because of the Organization. _December_ was in pain because of the Organization. How is this life _any better_ than what you had before?”

April didn’t answer for quite some time that August thought that he’d won this argument or something— _was this even an argument?_ —but then April lifted his hand from the bed and brought it over, placing his finger on August’s chest and looking him in the eyes. “You,” April said, “This life. Is better. Because we met you.”

Staring at April, August almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity. Him? This life was better because of _him?_ Did April forget he was the one who brought them into this dangerous lifestyle? Did he forget what he’d gotten them into? Did he forget he was the reason their brother was even missing in the first place? August was a lot of things, but a savior wasn’t one of them.

His brother dropped his hand from his chest as a look of disappointment crossed his face. “You think otherwise,” April murmured and looked away from him.

“April,” August started, “Do you even hear yourself right now? I was the one who took you in. This life isn’t better, your mind is just clouded with this idea that I’ve done any good for either of you.”

“And what if your mind is clouded with the overwhelming guilt you feel for bringing us in?”

“...”

“I’m actually offended that you think that you haven’t done any good for us because you’re forgetting one thing, August.” April looked back at him, his blue eyes shining with this emotion August couldn’t place. “The thing you’ve claimed since the very beginning. What we were. What we are. And that’s—“

“Family,” August finished.

April nodded. “We didn’t have anyone before, but then you gave us each other. Practically shoved it down our throats against our will, might I add. I don’t want to forget that, even if I have to endure this pain. Even if I… even if I have to question myself on hating December every now and then, I can’t forget all the good times we’ve spent together. That’s why I’m not taking the serum and you won’t be able to convince me to.”

“But I still—” August stopped himself then and actually considered his brother’s words. It’s true that August willingly brought them in into this nightmare, but it was also true that they probably wouldn’t have survived as long or as well if he hadn’t recruited them into the Organization. They wouldn’t have each other if August hadn’t brought them in. And April was _right._ They had the experience of living in both lives while August only lived in this one. It didn’t erase all the unnecessary pain that came with this life, but…

Maybe…

Maybe April was right, after all.

“Okay,” August finally said, “okay… Can I hug you now?” Instead of answering, April shifted and leaned heavily into August who merely laughed and wrapped his arms around his brother before brushing his hair out of his face and patting his head. They stayed like that in silence for a while before August broke it. “Is it constant? Your thoughts about December?”

Shrugging, April closed his eyes, “They’re often enough.”

“I’m so sorry, April.”

“Please stop apologizing for things outside of your c—shit…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t go back to the office in this condition. I’ll have to contact the Org.”

“Okay, but…” August held onto him tighter, “Later. You need to sleep.”

“Yeah… Yeah okay… that sounds nice…”

«~•~»

“Sleep well?”

Yawning, Itaru attempted to roll his shoulder but winced and slowly moved his arm back in the previous position.

Banri frowned, “I’ll take that as a no.”

“Yeah, I think I slept wrong or something. Hurts like a bitch.” Itaru tried again, only to feel another jolt of pain.

“Here.” Banri set his mug down and walked around the kitchen counter, quickly massaging out the knot in Itaru’s shoulder and ignoring the sounds of pain and protest from the man. “There. Done. Better?”

Rolling his shoulder, Itaru sighed in relief when it only ached instead. “Hey thanks,” he said as Banri walked back around the counter and picked up his mug. “Where’d you learn that?”

“Saw it on TV,” Banri mumbled behind the lip of his mug and shrugged. “Plus, s’just a simple massage. Nothing big. Oh, and before I forget,” Banri turned and picked up the thermos behind him before placing it in front of Itaru. “Omi-san made it. Said to give it to you.”

“Coffee?”

“What else?”

Itaru chuckled, “Well, dunno, you do something to it?”

“How accusatory,” Banri drank from his mug while scrolling through his phone. “Oh by the way, Director-chan wanted me to let you know that ticket sales stop tomorrow, the rest are being sold at the door. Needa reserve any?”

“Possibly,” Itaru hummed and thought of the list of coworkers he had before his mind landed on Chikage. After he came back from his business trip a few weeks ago, he was acting a bit odd and Itaru couldn’t pinpoint what it was. “Definitely one, at least.” After glancing at the clock on the wall, Itaru frowned, “Don’t you have class?”

“Hm?” Banri hummed during his sip and followed Itaru’s gaze to the clock. “Oh. Yeah, but after the Unopening Door fiasco, Winter wanted someone to keep an eye on Hisoka-san and since everyone seemed to be busy today, I volunteered.”

Itaru raised a brow, “To get outta class.”

Banri didn’t answer him. Instead, Itaru noticed the slight shift in the other’s stance and the little way his face contorted at the statement, which made Itaru frown and recalled the last few days to see if he’d missed a conversation. And then, he remembered a conversation Banri and Tsumugi were having while Itaru passed by the other day.

“There’s a festival at school today and it would’ve been your first one since joining Mankai.” Itaru tilted his head slightly as Banri avoided his gaze. “You wanted to go with Sakuya and Masumi, huh.” Itaru didn’t sound smug in his explanation, rather he sounded concerned as Banri continued to look away from him. After a few moments of thinking, Itaru cocked his head in the direction of the door, “Go.”

Banri’s eyes snapped to him then. “Hah?”

Itaru smiled, “You wanna go to the festival, then go.”

“But, Hiso—”

Itaru raised a hand, “Ah ah ah, I can watch him, I’ll call in sick or something.”

Staring at him for a while, Banri breathed in and nodded, “Okay. Cool. I’ll go then. Thanks, Itaru-san.”

Watching Banri down the rest of his coffee before putting the mug in the sink and dashing for his room to change, Itaru chuckled and sipped at his own coffee, looking around the lounge. Speaking of Hisoka, he should probably go look for him. After taking one more look around the lounge, Itaru stepped aside as Banri rushed through the lounge on the way to the door. “Itterasshai!” Itaru called after him before turning to step out of the lounge and into the courtyard, which thankfully, he didn’t need to search for Hisoka long since he was crouched in the courtyard staring at the flowerbed that Tsumugi had started working on a couple weeks ago.

Walking up to him, Itaru realized that Hisoka seemed to be fixated on a specific flower, “Hisoka-san?” He moved closer and looked down at the blooming flower. It’s petals were white in the middle before fading to a deep purple at the curled tips as little greenish yellow arms seemed to be curling out of the center of the flower. Then, Itaru looked back at Hisoka who still hadn’t taken his eyes off of the flower. “Did you unlock a memory, Hisoka-san?”

Hisoka stared at the flower for a few moments longer before “Gladiolus…”

Before Itaru could reply, someone else spoke up from within the lounge. “Hisoka-san! Banri-kun!” The pair turned to see Izumi walk out to the courtyard. “Oh, Itaru-san. Where’s Banri-kun?”

“He wanted to go to the school festival so I relieved him of Hisoka-san duty.”

“I see. Well, I’ll relieve you of Hisoka-san duty as well then. The thing I had with another theatre troupe was cancelled so I was going to take Hisoka-san shopping with me.”

Itaru turned to Hisoka, “Lucky you.” Hisoka stood as the two walked over to Izumi. “I’ll head to work then, but I can drop you off at the store if you want.”

Izumi smiled, “If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Not at all.” He ushered them out of the building and to his car before he dropped them off at the store. It wasn’t until Itaru clocked in did he feel something was off about the day, only to hear that Chikage had gone on a sudden business trip again.

«~•~»

After making sure April was fully patched up and settled in bed asleep, August quietly closed the door behind him and checked the time since it was still dark out. _Three am, not bad,_ he thought to himself and dropped down into his chair, rolling up to his desk and waking up his computer. August already had the most recent formula to the serum—the one December drank—memorized and destroyed any copies of it that weren’t already part of the original “Memory” folder, so there wasn’t a trace of him reopening it.

Still.

He needed to go back to the drawing board if he wanted to get April out of this life too.

Could he even produce a serum that would remove certain memories without touching others?

Eyes catching April’s pendant hanging above his monitor, August stared at it glistening for a moment before he rolled closer to his desk and grabbed his pencil, already scratching formulas and possibilities into his notebook. He cross referenced previous formulas and adjusted the current one, but shook his head for what felt like the millionth time that night as he crossed out another possible formula.

The current version of the serum was only temporary. If August wanted to help April, he had to make it target certain memories based on chemical compositions in the brain while also being a permanent solution unless April wanted to take it monthly or something. Which was still possible, but highly undesirable. August didn’t want him to crash or something from a sudden memory hitting him one day.

By the time August dropped his pencil and sat back in his chair to rest, he realized that it was now seven in the morning and stretched before standing and heading over to the kitchen to see what he could cook. Unfortunately, there weren’t many options and April hadn’t gone shopping the past two weeks because of the sudden pile up at the Org and his cover job.

Sighing, August scratched the back of his head and contemplated. Technically, he wasn’t allowed to leave the hideout until he was fully healed—as instructed by both the Org and April—but they also needed food so a quick shopping adventure wouldn’t hurt. He’d just have to make it quick if he wanted to get back before April woke up and scold him for it.

After grabbing his blue bomber jacket with “DECE” printed on it, August closed and locked the door behind him, setting out for the market on the other side of town and making sure his path was difficult enough to follow for any wandering eyes. When he reached the outdoor market, August walked around for a while and filled up a bag of food as he went, paying with cash and smiling at the workers and passerbys there.

“Come on, Hisoka-san.”

Instantly, August froze and swallowed, for some reason terrified to turn around. _Hisoka._ He only knew one Hisoka, but for all he knew, there could be millions in this country—thousands in this city alone. But he was the one who gave him that name after all. And to be so… so close…

_What are the chances it’s even him?_

And so he turned and—

_And there he was._

August wanted to break down then and there.

Before he even realized what he was doing, August already had December in his arms, holding him so tightly he was afraid of letting go lest he lose his brother again. His brother was _alive_ —he hadn’t killed him after all—and he was just… just so _happy._ He wanted to tell April. He _needed_ to tell April. But first he should probably let go of December and see if he was alright.

But once he did, August looked into those faded greens and his eyes widened in realization as December opened his mouth.

“Do I know you?”

Reluctantly, he released December— _Hisoka_ —as if he’d been burned and stepped away from him, farther than he wanted to because he still wanted to hold his brother. “S-sorry, I… I shouldn’t have done that. I’ll just… I thought you were someone else, I’ll… I’ll go now. I’m sorry…” August said as he backed up more and turned on his heel to leave, but stopped at the sound of a voice.

“You know who he is, don’t you?”

August took a breath.

“Maybe you can help him. He lost his mem—”

“I don’t know who he is.”

The woman who was with Hisoka sighed, but didn’t reply and August should’ve taken that moment to leave but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He still wanted to hold his brother. “Can we keep in touch?”

Frowning, August turned, “Pardon?”

She smiled patiently at him, her eyes creasing in a kind sort of way as if she understood his inner turmoil. Then, she approached him and took his hand with both of hers, her eyes still as perceiving and her smile still as comforting. “You don’t seem to be ready and I won’t push you if it’s that much of a problem, but you seem like you really care for Hisoka-san, so I’d like to stay in touch. Just in case you change your mind.”

Everything that the Organization trained him for was telling him this was a bad idea. That he should go. That he shouldn’t give her anything. No information to who he was and what he was a part of. But when his gaze shifted to Hisoka who stared at him with a curious tilt of his head, August felt his resolve crumble instantly.

Digging his phone out of his pocket, August pulled up his notes list and kept his voice quiet, “Tap my hand to tell me your phone number.”

“Huh?”

“Please.”

After blinking at him a few more times in confusion, she nodded before starting to tap her digits on his hand as August input the numbers in a code only he and April understood all while keeping an eye on their surroundings. He couldn’t put them in danger.

Once she was done, August pocketed his phone and finally smiled back, “Please take care of him, he likes marshmallows, y’know.”

She laughed, “I know.”

August huffed out a laugh as well, “Thank you. Thank you so much for this…”

“Of course.”

Then, he stepped away and resisted the urge to wave goodbye to Hisoka before turning on his heel and leaving, keeping his pace reasonable to even a trained eye and once he was far enough away, he pulled his hood over his head and took a completely different route back to the hideout. August didn’t stop moving until he was back in the hideout and closing the door, releasing a breath and dropping his forehead on the door with a small thud.

“August…?”

Before August could turn around, he felt April grab onto the back of his jacket with both hands and drop his head between his shoulder blades.

“I… Where did you go…? I thought you… I was… I was scared you’d…”

He felt a pang of guilt in his chest. “I know. I’m sorry, April, but I… I need to tell you…” August let out a shaky breath, “...tell you something…”

Suddenly, he felt lightheaded. No, that’s not right, he was already feeling lightheaded, but it was hitting him fully just now. His body felt heavy and so did his eyelids. He was out of breath, like his chest was compressed, and there was a weight in his stomach. His vision swam and his thoughts scattered. _Fuck,_ he was going to pass out, wasn’t he? Distantly, he heard his name being called, but his body wasn’t cooperating with him to answer.

His world went black.


	6. The Safety of the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just who was that man?

As the man walked away, Izumi watched until he disappeared amongst the crowd before releasing a disappointed breath. The man seemed to be in some sort of tough situation, but to rely solely on the fact that he’d even bother to call her felt like some sort of gamble. Because what if he never did? Hopefully, it wasn’t because of something dangerous.

“Let’s uh… head home now, Hiso—Hisoka-san?” Izumi turned to look for the other and frowned, searching the immediate area before finally spotting him at a stall looking down at the selections there. “Hey Hisoka-san,” Izumi smiled apologetically at the shopkeeper, “what are you looking at?” She looked down at the selection to find closed packages of gingerbread. “Do you want some?”

Hisoka simply nodded.

After paying, Izumi smiled at Hisoka who gingerly picked up one of the packages as Izumi led him away from the stall and they started walking home. Watching Hisoka open it and take out one of the gingerbread, Izumi frowned when he stared at it for a moment, “Hisoka-san?”

Instead of answering verbally, Hisoka offered it to Izumi, “You share gingerbread… With family.” Briefly, his gaze dropped before looking back up at her. “Or something…”

“I see.” Izumi took the gingerbread and waited for Hisoka to get another out before they took a bite together. After a few minutes of eating in silence, Izumi glanced at him and cleared her throat, “So you don’t remember him right?”

Hisoka’s gaze sharpened for a moment before pulling the gingerbread away from his mouth. “No… but…”

“But?”

“I felt… safe…”

“When he hugged you?”

Hisoka nodded.

“Well,” Izumi exhaled, “Let’s hope he calls me or something then later, so we can get some ans—”

“Achoo!”

“Whoa, bless you, are you getting sick?” Izumi felt his forehead with the back of her hand and frowned, “You’re burning up, Hisoka-san. Have you still been sleeping outside?”

Closing his eyes, Hisoka released a breath before opening his eyes, “I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t think you will with how hot you feel right now.” Izumi removed her hand from his forehead and grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “Rest today, okay? We can’t have you pass out somewhere dangerous or on stage.”

“Mhm, I’ll be careful.”

Izumi sighed, “I’ll tell Homare-san to watch you tonight, just in case.”

Hisoka grumbled, “Alice threatened to take my marshmallows earlier.”

“We just want to make sure you don’t get sick, Hisoka-san. Do you feel cold?” Hisoka shook his head. “That’s good. Well, let’s get home and you can nap all you want.”

«~•~»

To be honest, Izumi should’ve expected it. She should’ve expected that Hisoka would disappear. She should’ve expected the Unopening Door to appear again. She should’ve expected the door would close and click behind her too. She should’ve expected all of it.

Sighing in acceptance, Izumi stepped over to Hisoka and settled next to him, “Hisoka-san, I have some medicine for you.” She poured out the required amount into a small measuring cup and brought it to his lips, tipping it carefully for him to drink slowly. Once he was done, she capped the medicine bottle and set it aside, “We need to cool your forehead.” Thankfully, she also thought to bring a wet cloth and folded it. “Can you lay back, Hisoka-san?”

Huffing, Hisoka leaned back onto the boxes behind him with Izumi’s help and closed his eyes as Izumi carefully placed the cloth on his head. He hummed in approval. “That… feels better.”

“That’s good.” Izumi watched him for a few moments, a frown ever present on her face. “Why do you keep running, Hisoka-san? You should’ve been staying in bed.”

“Safe…” he murmured, “I needed… to be safe…”

Izumi’s gaze dropped to her lap as her shoulders slumped. “Do you…” Izumi pursed her lips, “Do you not feel safe at Mankai, Hisoka-san?”

“N-no, I…” Hisoka’s face contorted in what Izumi hoped wasn’t pain. “Mankai is… I just…” Hisoka coughed into his elbow.

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to talk. You should be resting anyway.”

Pulling his arm away from his face, Hisoka took a few deep breaths, “I… I was taught to lie low and… recover my stamina…”

Lie low and recover his stamina? Who would teach him that? Instantly, her mind drifted to the man from yesterday and his strange behavior like how he wanted to leave instantly and how he wanted to keep their conversation quiet and how he wanted her to tap her phone number onto his hand and—Oh man, Izumi really hoped he wasn’t someone dangerous looking to hurt Hisoka.

But as Izumi watched Hisoka catch his breath with the calculated rise and fall of his chest, she remembered that Hisoka considered the man’s embrace as a feeling of security. Maybe he was dangerous, but he seemed to be worried _for_ Hisoka’s sake, not _because_ of Hisoka.

“Get some rest, okay Hisoka-san? The others should still be looking around for us. And…” Sighing, Izumi reached over and carefully brushed a hand through his hair as Hisoka slightly leaned into the touch. She smiled, “No one’s gonna hurt you here at Mankai. You’re safe.” He hummed as Izumi’s smile softened at seeing him visibly relax. Continuing to run her hand through his hair, Izumi tried to keep the smile on her face, but his head felt so hot, Izumi hoped the others would find them soon so he didn’t get worse.

Then, Hisoka’s eye snapped open as tears started to form.

“H-Hisoka-san?” Izumi followed his gaze when she realized how focused he seemed, even through cloudy eyes. _The moon? Why is he…?_ She looked back at him when he started talking.

“I remember…” Izumi’s eyes widened. “Everything. I… I did the unthinkable… to you…”

“Everything? Hisoka-san, you remember your past? Who are you ta—”

“Au…gust… I… I’m sorry…”

“August? Who—” Izumi stopped herself when he passed out soon after. Sighing, she shifted into a more comfortable position before running her hand through his hair again and watching him worriedly. She wasn’t sure how long it’d take for the others to find them, but she had time to think some things over.

_“I needed… to be safe…”_

Why wouldn’t Hisoka feel safe? Was there something happening with the other members that she wasn’t aware of? Everyone seemed to be getting along well, but if there was a problem then she’d have to—No. Wait… That’s not right.

_“I… I was taught to lie low and… recover my stamina…”_

_That’s right._ He was _taught_ to react that way. Why would he need to be taught that? Why would he feel the need to hide from everyone because he was getting sick? It seemed to be putting him in more danger than keeping him safe. Maybe Hisoka didn’t feel _unsafe_ with Mankai, since it seemed to be ingrained within him to flee at a moment’s notice, but that still didn’t leave a great feeling within Izumi.

Still.

He seemed to relax when Izumi assured him that no one would hurt him.

But then, he…

_“Au…gust… I… I’m sorry…”_

Who was August and why was he apologizing to them?

_“I did the unthinkable… to you…”_

The more Izumi thought about this, the more confused she was getting. Hisoka seemed to remember his past, but he’d only managed to get out an apology to someone he’d wronged. Just what kind of life did he live before Mankai? Her mind thought back to the possibility of the man being dangerous again, only to be replaced immediately by the fact that Hisoka did, in fact, consider his presence a relief.

A relief…

Her gaze drifted back to the full moon in the sky. “Just who are you…?” she whispered to the moon as if it would answer. “Will you… call me? Please…?” she pleaded quietly, “For Hisoka-san’s sake?” Hisoka seemed important to the man, if the tightness of his hug and the pure relief on his face was any indicator. She should’ve asked for his number too. Sighing dejectedly, Izumi turned back to Hisoka and lightly brushed away his drying tears.

“You’ll be okay, Hisoka-san. Everything’ll be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am evil and this chapter didn't have April's reaction to August passing out gdjfklhdjfkgf next one though >:))


	7. Nilla Wafers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April's reaction to August's collapse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: April has a breakdown and an information overload of sorts, I'm not really sure what to call it
> 
> Also for those wondering what September looks like, [here she is.](https://rafol-fic.carrd.co/)  
> This carrd might turn into a little gallery of drawings that I do for this fic, but also shrugs

“August?!” April shouted and quickly caught his brother before he collapsed to the ground. “No no no,” April repeated in a panic and brought a shaky hand to his neck before releasing a breath and holding August close once he realized he was still alive.

_Okay, think April, possible causes?_

Poison, unfortunately, came to mind first, but April quickly shoved that thought aside and unwrapped the bag around August’s wrist, setting it aside and gathering his brother in his arms. He should think later and focus on getting August to a bed.

Carrying August to the side room, he carefully placed him on the bed and went to pull the covers over him before cursing at himself and putting them back. He should check his temperature first, maybe it’s a fever.

_But what if it wasn’t?_

April shook his head and left the room in search of their infrared thermometer or any thermometer really. “Fuck!” He closed a drawer to open another before finally finding it and leaving the drawer open. Hurrying back to August’s side, April pointed the infrared thermometer at his forehead and breathed out a sigh in relief that his temperature was normal.

“Okay, useless,” April tossed the thermometer aside and felt August’s pulse again. It was still strong so his body wasn’t hanging on for dear life due to some kind of drug shutting down his body.

What else could it be? Why couldn’t he fucking think of other causes? Why else would August collapse suddenly? He’d gone outside, so something must’ve happened. Maybe there was something in the food he’d brought home. But then it’d be affecting April too. Maybe it was some kind of new poison that showed no symptoms but still slowly killed them. Had August made contact with someone? Had someone tried to kill him? _Was something currently killing him?_ He shouldn’t have gone outside, April told him he shouldn’t have—

“Hey.”

April snapped his eyes to August who smiled coyly at him as April shuddered out a breath and hugged him without a second thought. “August…”

He felt August wrap an arm loosely around him and brought his other hand through his hair as April failed to suppress a whimper. August quietly shushed him, “Hey, s’okay. I’m okay.”

“You… _Collapsed._ ” April hissed out and sucked in a breath. “What do you mean you’re _okay?_ ”

“April—“

“No,” he pulled away from August as his voice shook, “what in the hell. Was that?”

August looked away from him then as April felt his self control slipping.

“Be honest with me, August please, I—“ April could practically feel his emotions spilling out of him. “I’m _scared,_ August. You keep—“ April huffed angrily, “You keep fucking downplaying your symptoms and shit and lying to me and saying everything is fine when—when _it’s not!_ I don’t wanna lose you! How many times do we have to have this conversation before you get it through your thick fucking skull that I don’t want you to fucking die!?” April took a few steps back then and dropped into the chair behind him. “I told you to rest. I told you to take it easy. I told you to stop worrying about me. I told you not to go outside… August, I’m…” He shook his head. “What do you think I’m telling you all these things for…? Why can’t you just understand that I can’t handle losing you too?”

Nodding, August carefully moved to sit up and leaned on the headboard, eyes on his clasped hands on his lap. “I assume it was exhaustion from… working too much.”

Wiping at his eyes and cheeks, April felt a breath rush out of him in disappointment and sadness. “Then sleep.” Standing from the chair, April headed for the door.

“Wait, no ‘I told you so’ or anything?”

April stopped at the door and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm himself before opening his eyes. “I’m not really in the mood for joking around or bragging right now, August. I think I’m too terrified of losing you too to think about anything else.”

“Too…” August paused. “Wait, that’s not right anymore. Or, I guess it is, but not in the sense that you’re probably thinking. Actually, you might be thinking it, I don’t know really—“

Frowning, April finally turned to look at August who had a wide smile on his face which just deepened April’s frown. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, August, but now’s not really a time to be smi—“

“I found him.”

The younger froze. “You… you what…?”

“I found December, April.”

Several emotions hit April at once. Relief, anger, confusion—April had to grab onto the door frame to stabilize himself from the sudden wave of dizziness he got from those three simple words. However, only one thing repeated over and over in his head.

His brother—their brother—was _alive._

“So,” April started carefully, “where is he then?”

“I’m assuming with a new family that cares about him.”

And just like that, everything in April crumbled once again and the anger came back full force, something within him twisting harshly it felt suffocating. “I see,” April said hollowly. _He replaced us,_ his mind provided, even though he didn’t want to believe it himself.

“He has amnesia, April, he didn’t replace us.”

Oh. He said that aloud, huh.

“April, can you…” Instead of finishing his sentence, August motioned him over and patted the edge of the bed as April sighed heavily and attempted a step forward to make sure he wasn’t still dizzy before letting go of the door frame and walking over to sit next to August. Twisting the silver ring on his thumb into a certain position, August held his palm up and flat as the ring projected a screen and one handed keyboard in front of him.

“What are you…?” April watched as August pulled out his phone with his other hand and unlocked it before inputting a phone number into the screen in front of them. Then, a profile showed up on screen. “Tachibana Izumi,” April read aloud. _Why did that name sound familiar?_

“When I went to the market, she was with him. I think she’s taking care of him, but I didn’t want to get any information from her in case someone was watching a little too closely.” August started scrolling through her information. “She was a little persistent though and I ended up asking for her number. Ah. Here. She has a mom and dad listed. No siblings though. Connections with some notable people, namely a superstar child actor and a high ranking yakuza from the local Ginsenkai family which is an interesting range. Let’s find out her job and see why that is.”

Skimming a little ahead, April froze, but August didn’t seem to notice yet.

“It says she ended her contract with her previous job and started working as a director of Mankai Company Theatre this year. Hmm, Mankai Company… Mankai, why does that sound—April?!”

Hurriedly, August caught him before he slumped over as April brought a hand up to his head and groaned. He felt dizzy again. His mind simultaneously scattering into every bit of information he’s been told about Mankai from Itaru while also focusing solely on _“So there’s five members: Two acting junkies, an amnesiac, a published poet, and a—y’know what, I’ll just call him a friend.”_

_An amnesiac._

April never put the pieces together. Had he really been that distracted by everything that he didn’t realize the gigantic fucking sign pointing at where his brother had been this entire time? Looking back on that conversation with Itaru, April should’ve known. He should’ve figured it out. They would’ve found December much sooner if April had just—

“—ound of my voice. Come on, you can do it. There you go. That’s it, come back down to earth, buddy.”

_There I go making him worry over me again._

“You’re okay,” August said gently as he continued to run his thumbs lightly over April’s cheeks with the hands cupping his face. April could feel the coldness of August’s ring, he tried to focus on it. “You're okay.”

A piercing headache hit him then before he could reply as April flinched. Too many thoughts at once with conflicting sides. Relief for his brother, but also a feeling of betrayal for what he’d done to them but that wasn’t right. August said that wasn’t right. The Organization was at fault for that. For making him think December was a traitor. But December almost got August killed and he was the only other person there, he said he was going to protect August. But where was he now? Maybe he was a tr—

“April, please look at me. I’m right here. You’re spiraling pretty bad right now and I need you to breathe. Slowly. Carefully. I know you can do it, April. Come on.”

Then, _guilt._

_“If he doesn’t come back, I’ll never forgive you.”_

_“... I know.”_

Who would’ve thought that December was the one who wouldn’t come back from that mission?

He needed to stop blaming December. December didn’t do anything. In fact, he tried his best given the circumstances. _So stop blaming your brother,_ he told himself. Scolded, really. April didn’t even know he was trembling with his head pressed against August’s chest until he was able to focus on the sound of August’s heartbeat and come back to himself more.

_He’s here. He’s always been here._

_But December still wasn’t._

“Are you with me now, April?”

“... I want him back…”

Sucking in a breath, August held him tighter, “I know, April. I do too. But we have to keep him safe and that means keeping our distance for now. Just from my brief encounter with Tachibana, he seems like he’s in good hands with her. Let’s… Let’s figure out our next steps first. Well… We should rest first honestly. Both of us. So let’s do that and then when we wake up, we can talk more.”

“Both of us?”

“Both of us.”

April hummed as his eyes slipped closed in exhaustion. After August shifted to give April more space, he settled and pulled April closer as April drifted off to the first peaceful sleep he’d had since…

_Since that day._

«~•~»

“August.”

Instantly, his eyes snapped open upon hearing the voice because there was only one person it could be.

“September…” August mumbled and rubbed at his eyes as he shifted to sit up before remembering that April was asleep next to him and settled back down. He shouldn’t disturb him. Looking back over at September who had a raised brow, August kept his voice low, “What are you doing here?”

“It’s been over eleven hours since the Organization tried contacting you. When you didn’t pick up, they tried for April. When neither of you picked up, they sent me to make sure nothing had happened.”

August sighed and thought back to what happened before they fell asleep. _Right. April must be emotionally exhausted._ August reached over and lightly brushed his brother’s hair out of his face before placing the back of his hand on his forehead. _No fever or anything, that’s good._

“So,” August cleared his throat, “we’re fine. Why did you wake me up?”

September somehow looked even more unimpressed than before. “Because you lied to me during your check up. Plus, you already know my stance on _this_ situation.” She pointedly looked at April. “The Organization wants next moves on your research.”

“ _That’s_ what they wanted from me?” August scoffed. “They could’ve asked on any other day.” But then, August saw September’s eyes sharpen slightly behind her glasses.

“They also wanted to hear it from you. In person.”

“... Hear what exactly?”

“What happened that day.”

“I already told them that I got shot and passed out, I don’t remember anything else. Not who shot me. Not where. Certainly not why. It was news to me when April told me it was December.”

September crossed her arms over her chest, “But you don’t believe that and for some reason you don’t want to tell the Organization either. You’re protecting him and I haven’t a clue why. He’s dead. There’s no one to protect.”

“Sept, I love you, I really do, but can you stop? Like right now? I get it, you don’t trust them, but I’m too exhausted to sugarcoat my words.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Didn’t I _just_ tell you to stop?”

September merely stared back at him.

“God fuck, okay. I’ll go back to the Org tomorrow. Can you leave now?”

“No.”

August resisted the urge to groan loudly lest he accidentally wake April up, but September spoke up again before he could.

“I’m cooking something for you.”

“...huh?”

“Like I said, it’s been over eleven hours since the Organization tried contacting either of you, so you’ve both been asleep for that and most likely longer.”

“... What time is it?”

“Four am. It’s the twelfth.”

“Shit…” August breathed out as he rubbed at his eyes. It had been nearly twenty four hours since he first left the hideout to buy food and somehow ran into December. Had he really been that exhausted that he never heard his phone ringing? Hell, it was more surprising April, who hardly slept even on normal days, got more than three hours of sleep. Everything must’ve finally caught up to him after August told him about December.

December…

“You have that face on you that says you realized something.”

Removing his hand from his face, August frowned, “How could you even tell? I was covering half my face.”

“Because I know you.”

“That’s the same reason you use every time.”

“Because it’s true.”

“Maybe it’s the face I make for other things. You don’t know if I realized something.”

September hummed, “Possibly, but you’re not denying it at all so you did.” September watched him for a moment, her eyes flicking to April briefly before looking back at August. “What did you realize?”

Taking a measured breath, August stared up at the ceiling and sighed heavily. He shouldn’t tell September about December. It’d probably put him in more danger if August told anyone else other than April, even if he trusted September wouldn’t say anything if he asked her not to. “You trust me, right?”

“Anything following that question is bound to be something stupid.”

August chuckled, “You’re probably right.”

“What is it then?”

Truthfully, September didn’t need to answer his question because he already knew she trusted him. They’ve worked together for years for as long as he could remember and aside from April and December, she’s the only one he’d trust with his life. “I can’t tell you what I realized, but I’ll… I’ll take care of it myself.” August shifted his gaze to April, “We both will…”

September stared at him for a moment and, just like always, he couldn’t tell which direction her mind was taking but he smiled at her response. “I’m trusting _you_ to take care of it. Not him.” Thankfully, that was the best he was going to get. “And leave tomorrow for the Org, but he stays.”

August nodded, “‘Course.” She turned to leave, but August called out to her again as September stopped and turned to look at him expectantly. “Can you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“I know this is a lot to ask of you, but…” August trailed off and finally moved to sit, careful not to jostle April too much. He stared down at his lap for a few moments before meeting September’s gaze. “If he’s suspected to be a traitor again, can you delay the investigation for as long as possible?”

“You do realize you have the authority to delay it yourself.”

August bit his lower lip and nodded, “Yeah, I know, but they’d take it more seriously from you. They’d probably think he was threatening me or something. I just want to keep him safe from any more unnecessary danger.”

“If he’s suspected again, then it’s not unnecessary.”

“...”

“I’ll only uphold it on the condition that he doesn’t hurt you.”

“He won’t. He never would.”

“That’s what you said about December and look what happened.”

August dropped his gaze to his lap again and curled and uncurled his fists. He didn’t have a defense for himself, not when he couldn’t give September details anymore to keep December safe.

“I’ll uphold it, but the moment he pulls something, then I’m turning him in myself. Hell, maybe I’ll take care of him myself instead. But you should learn to stop giving second chances to people, August.” September turned to leave. “One of these days, you’ll run out of luck.” She closed the door behind her.

Releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding, August rolled his shoulder and continued to stare at nothing as what felt like a million problems hit him all at once. All stressful at varying degrees, but he decided to hone in on the most apparent one.

“You can stop pretending to be asleep now, April, I’m pretty sure she knew you were faking it anyway.” Feeling the bed shift shortly after, August ran a hand through his hair and sighed as April sat up and the two sat in silence for a while before April finally spoke up.

“Y’know, for a second there, I thought you were gonna tell her.”

August laughed breathlessly, “I almost did.”

“... She’s right though,” April murmured, “You should stop giving people second chances.”

“Weren’t you the one who was thankful I gave you and December a second chance at life?”

“...”

Realizing his mistake, August quickly turned to April who was looking away from him. “Hey, I didn’t mean…” August trailed off and took a deep breath before wrapping an arm around April’s shoulders and pulling him into a half hug. “Sorry.”

April exhaled and dropped his head onto August’s shoulder, closing his eyes. “You said we could discuss next steps when we woke up.”

“Eager, aren’t you?” August glanced at the closed door. Realistically, September wouldn’t be listening in to their conversation and he trusted her enough to believe that, but they still couldn’t talk too loud just in case. “For now, we keep our distance. As far as possible until we find out what kind of people he’s with and if he’s truly safe with them. Plus, keeping our distance means less eyes on him and we want to keep it that way.”

April only nodded.

“You okay?” August called worriedly as April nodded again. When August’s gaze drifted down, he saw how tightly April’s hands were clenched. “We can change the subject if it hurts too much.”

April shook his head, “Someone at the office is an actor for Mankai. He’s told me about the company before.”

Humming, August thought back to his conversations with April about his coworkers and tried to pinpoint who he was referring to before he suddenly remembered an interview they happened to catch while watching TV. “The pretty, brown haired one on the TV? The one where their playwright stumbled over their words during the interview?”

April puffed out a laugh, “That’s the one.”

“So that’s Mankai Company… They look nice.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Why’s that?”

“The pretty one’s fake.”

August frowned, “How so?”

“There’s something off about him. His smile. It’s always forced.”

“You do the same.”

“That’s my point.”

“Ah. You think he’s potentially dangerous.”

“Not dangerous. He’s just… Off.”

“Okay then. Don’t force yourself, but if you can get any more information about Mankai from him, that’d be helpful. We can also look up more information about them right here, but hearing it right from the source could give us a different perspective than a file ever could.”

“Got it.” They fell into a comfortable silence before— “Did you just call him pretty?”

August snorted, “Hey, you called him pretty too.”

“That’s because you did first.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty. Him and his nilla wafer hair.” That got a genuine laugh out of April as August smiled. “What? It’s like a perfectly crisp brown on the top and it's lighter at the ends. Am I wrong?”

“No comment.”

“Fine, I’ll just take it you don’t like nilla wafers and pretty boys with nilla wafer hair.”

“Too sweet.”

“It’s fucking bread, what do you mean it’s too sweet? Unless you meant your coworker.”

“God, I do not want to have this conversation anymore.” April moved to sit on the edge of the bed as August laughed.

“Aw come on!”

After a pause, April sat there for a moment before he turned and smiled a small, thankful smile, his eyes crinkling just a bit in a soft sort of way. “Thank you, August. We’ll be okay. All three of us.”

Nodding, August returned the smile, “That we will, April. That we will. And hey… I promise I won’t overwork myself anymore, okay? I didn’t take into account how much it’d probably affect you if you lost both of us. I’m sorry for acting recklessly, and… thank you, for helping me understand that.”

“As much as I wanna believe your words, August, I’m not inclined to accept your apology until I see it for myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I'd like to point out, before anyone assumes anything, no, August and September are not dating or something. Their relationship will be explained further throughout the fic, I don't want to give spoilers, but I just wanted to clarify that they are Not Dating nor will they ever.


End file.
